Dear Journal,
For about 2 weeks I have been awaiting a letter in the mail that would change my life. The college I dreamed of going to since I was 12 had received all my information, transcripts, etc. I had thought this dream was legit since I've wanted it for five years and even visiting there and falling in love with it told me that's where God wanted me to go.
However, today I got the letter. It wasn't in a big envelope, it was in a small one. Most of me hoped I had misplaced something and they needed one more item. But I met the most dismay ever in my life when I read they did not want me to attend their college.
My heart sank and tears began to flow and I was filled with anger. Why had God given me this passionate dream if he wasn't going to fulfill my uttermost desire. The one thing I wanted most right now was just to be accepted into Northwest University. I had never intended on starting college any other way at any other place. It was simply the perfect match for me.
The second sentence of my rejection letter told me after "prayer" they don't think I should attend. This did not, even in the least bit match up to the call I had thought I got. SO, I began to question them but I also questioned myself. Was it really God's will for me to attend that college? Or was I so consumed in whatI wanted that I wasn't looking at anything else?
My entire experience in Seattle was based upon material things; what I could get out of it, not what God could do through me there. It was all about me being where I wanted to go.
As more hours go by, I have not been able to stop thinking of this shattered dream. It has been a dream for so long that I cannot let it go right away. But I need to have enough faith to know that everything happens for a reason and if God wanted me to go there, he would have told them to send me an acceptance letter regardless of my academic past because through God, all things are possible but apparently this wasn't his will.
I told God I'll go wherever he wants me to go, and that's exactly what I am going to do! (:
For about 2 weeks I have been awaiting a letter in the mail that would change my life. The college I dreamed of going to since I was 12 had received all my information, transcripts, etc. I had thought this dream was legit since I've wanted it for five years and even visiting there and falling in love with it told me that's where God wanted me to go.
However, today I got the letter. It wasn't in a big envelope, it was in a small one. Most of me hoped I had misplaced something and they needed one more item. But I met the most dismay ever in my life when I read they did not want me to attend their college.
My heart sank and tears began to flow and I was filled with anger. Why had God given me this passionate dream if he wasn't going to fulfill my uttermost desire. The one thing I wanted most right now was just to be accepted into Northwest University. I had never intended on starting college any other way at any other place. It was simply the perfect match for me.
The second sentence of my rejection letter told me after "prayer" they don't think I should attend. This did not, even in the least bit match up to the call I had thought I got. SO, I began to question them but I also questioned myself. Was it really God's will for me to attend that college? Or was I so consumed in whatI wanted that I wasn't looking at anything else?
My entire experience in Seattle was based upon material things; what I could get out of it, not what God could do through me there. It was all about me being where I wanted to go.
As more hours go by, I have not been able to stop thinking of this shattered dream. It has been a dream for so long that I cannot let it go right away. But I need to have enough faith to know that everything happens for a reason and if God wanted me to go there, he would have told them to send me an acceptance letter regardless of my academic past because through God, all things are possible but apparently this wasn't his will.
I told God I'll go wherever he wants me to go, and that's exactly what I am going to do! (:
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