College!

My goodness! I wish I knew the weight of this situation and part of my life. Whenever people would speak of college it was also so nonchalant. Like it wasn't a big deal at all, all this talk of partying and what not made me think after you got there, you were there for fun and there was no accountability because you were on your own.

My mind quickly changed when I began filling out applications for colleges, the insane stress of the situation was never ending and a lot of the result were unseen to me until I finally sat back and realized everything was draining my mental energy and another part of me was slightly depressed when I learned how much everything was going to cost; tuition, board, food, books, and dependence.

As a Christian girl; driven to serve none other than Christ I applied to liberal arts, and bible colleges in Idaho, Oregon, California, Illinois, and Texas. Needless to say, all of them are private college and the cost of attending would be much more than if I was going to a secular public college near home. This makes everything more expensive.

My high school transcripts aren't impressive, neither are my ACT/SAT scores. This doesn't put my hopes any higher than they were in the first place as far as being able to attend a college that costs so much.

A blessing from (only) heaven came in the mail when Olivet Nazarene University in Illinois sent me an acceptance letter. I was completely speechless, I could not believe it even if Jesus was telling me. It was a miracle and even now as I write this, it's unbelievable! As it began to really come into perspective, for me and my parents, she shared with me how much it's going to cost just for a year. Discouragement took over as I realized what a financial burden this would put on my parents now and myself later. More time went by and minor depression set in, I don't want to cause problems but God  has called me to do something.
The other thing I'm struggling with is the location of the school. Not only is it over 1500 miles away from my family but it's going to be freezing there. I don't do well with cold weather at all.

I keep praying about it, and God keeps telling me that everything is going to work out and that all I need to do is lean on him. He gave me that hope I needed and now I am no longer discouraged because I know that with him all things are possible; even with my grades. Jesus said in Mark 10:27 that nothing is impossible with God but with man things can be impossible.
"If it's God's will, it's God's bill."

So, as I await more letters, which I hope there's an acceptance close to home I am going to pray and continue to ask God for help. There's nothing better to do :)