Oi!

I have been such mess, not on the outside, but on the inside.
My mind has been on things that it shouldn't, and I have been so hard on myself lately. And it isn't even the kind of hard that makes someone change, I have been sitting on my butt and wallowing in everything I am lacking or everything that I do that I shouldn't.
When I am sitting and figuring out what to do, I resort to the TV. I don't fan my flame or feed my gift, I watch boring dumb TV. At the end of the day, I realize what I could have done with my day.
Ugh, I don't want to lose my gift. I want to be a good writer still, but it's like I have to start from scratch.
I am putting off college stuff, I have plenty of time to study for my compass test, but I just don't.
I don't know what I am going to do, I feel like I am in this rut just waiting to get out...

But I really just need to climb out.