Door Mat

Since I became old enough to know what the definition of acceptance is I turned into what most would call a people pleaser. For some reason whenever I sense that something I do or say displeases someone, I get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach and I never want to do it again. 
Lately, I've realized that this is a major problem  and that I should do something about it for these reasons:
1. Anyone who knows me for more than 20 minutes can most likely tell that I am willing to do anything for someone else. Most times it doesn't even matter what it is or even my circumstances, I will help someone out. Also, just to be nice I'll do something or make an offer that I most likely shouldn't, and because of this, people begin to take advantage of me and expect everything from me all the time!
2. I make myself susceptible to hurt because when people say or do something painful to me, I don't stand up for myself which is also a way of saying: "go ahead and hurt me".  I can't tell you the number of times a person has said something painful or rude and I haven't made it known to avoid a conflict.
3. Honestly, some people are literally my friend because they know they are able to step all over me. This one bothers me the most because most of the time those people are the ones who drive me up the wall, but since I am such a nice person, they stick around!

The trouble with all of these things is the toll it is taking on me. I have never found anything to be more rewarding than to help people and to be kind. So many people have told me that I need to start standing up for myself, but I look at it like this:
Mean, rude, irritated, or short fused people are irritating to be around. So I don't want to be like that.
I am struggling with this. As a person, I like being nice because I love when people are nice to me. I don't like when people are rude to me, so I'm not rude to them. It seems easy, but this is the height of complicated! 
I am seriously unable to say anything mean to anyone! When I do, it eats at me until I apologize. Even when a stupid guy asks me for "sexy pictures" I don't say "screw off, a-hole" I say: "No I think I'll pass :)" Even in defense of myself, I am nice.


There has to be an easier way to do this, I want people to be my friend for the right reasons. I don't want people to only be my friend because I will let them step on me, and I don't want people to be my friend because they are scared to displease me either.


So what should I do? Should I become a bitch, and say everything that pops up in my head instead of thinking about how the person on the receiving end will feel?

I don't know what to do; by trying to not hurt other people's feelings, I've let mine be hurt.