Change

Reminiscing is my favorite thing to do, in fact I think I wear out the topic with my constant need to look back and realize how much I have changed. This blog entry isn't about how my face has changed, because though it has, the change that I have been noticing more and more is the change within. In 2007, 5 years ago, I was 13 years old and had little to no self confidence. I was faced with cruel words on a daily basis, words that I can repeat verbatim to you. The words of my peers that literally destroyed me from the inside out.
There were so many things I wanted to do, so many words I wanted to say. With every hesitation and every bite at my tongue, I lost touch of who I was suppose to be. The so-called "light" that my Mother saw in me was hidden behind a cloud of denial causing me to be blind to the girl who was on the inside, just screaming to get out! Along with the torment of my peers, I'd look in the mirror and torment myself with what I thought was the truth. "You're ugly, Elora", "you're gross"...
From the time I stepped foot into middle school until the very day I graduated, I was hit with the rumors and the horrible talk...I couldn't say or do anything without being tormented. You can see it in my eyes!
As an 18 year old young woman, I am finally learning who I have been all along. The girl who has always been inside just dying to get out, the girl I wouldn't let emerge in fear of the rejection I already encountered every day of my life.
It's good to finally know who I am, and I am no longer my own worst enemy. I can say with a whole heart that I don't care what anyone thinks. I wasted too long caring what everyone thought of me and I will no longer let my face wear the frown that those circumstances weighed on me.
I literally and truly am the one and only Elora. A cliche term that didn't become truth until recently. Living life has never been so sweet.