"...all I wanted was to be accepted."
This line is from a movie called Never Been Kissed staring Drew Barrymore. If you haven't seen the movie, it is about a woman name Josie who must relive a high school student life to write a piece for the newspaper she worked for. Though she was thrilled to do the undercover job at first, flashbacks of her high school career sent her down in the dumps when she reminisced on the torture inflicted by her peers. The relevance to this movie isn't exact in my own life. I washed my hair, while she didn't. She was a nerd who had good grades, and I can't say the same about myself. However, Josie Gellar and I had one thing in common: The desire to be accepted.
Starting at such a young age, I learned what it was like to be rejected by my peers. As a first grader, I had an issue retaining my bladder and often wet my pants which caused for bullying. In fourth and fifth grade I dealt with boys calling me "ugly" straight up to my face. I dealt with constant harassment from my peers, but even in the midst of all that, I still wanted them to be my friend.
Middle School I was bullied for my acne, and as a new student, I was willing to be anyone's friend, even those who treated me badly.
High School I was made fun of for my beliefs, rumors were spread about me, and people created endless gossip about me.
When I started college, I didn't think I had to deal with it. One guy in particular is a god example of why I need to change. He means absolutely nothing to me, but without a justifiable reason, he decided he didn't like me. I do not want to lie and say that it didn't bother me, because it did. My frustration toward people who can say they don't like someone without talking to them is absolutely unexplainable!
As I witness college life more and more, I realize that everyone else is determined to do what every college student does: Party, drink, smoke, etc. While these things are not my goal, it causes others to not want to be around me. Even though it is not a matter of opinion how immature it is to judge someone based on their preferences, people still do it.
In thought of this, I realized that I need to get over what people think about me. Though I was telling myself that I was over it, something inside of me still cared when someone expressed a dislike. The only thing that changed, was I didn't actually do anything about it.
In elementary, middle, and high school I would have changed anything just to be accepted. In college, I stand my ground but in the back of my mind, I am frustrated at people's lack of adherence to the fact that I have a personality and that everyone is different.
The solution is simple: I need to seriously not care what people think. The people who accept me for who I am are the people I want in my life anyway! Why on earth would I want a few shallow boys in my life? I don't, so I'm not gonna change my preferences.
I don't smoke. I don't drink. Why would I start just so a couple of strangers will like me?
There is no need to blend into my surroundings.
I see people do that and it makes me sick! It is my job to be myself and when people don't want anything to do with me, I say "okay, moving on!" without anything in the back of my head.
I love Jesus, I live for Him. I am not going to stop just so people on this earth will like me. This place, is foreign. I do not understand others' actions. I serve Jesus, not myself and when others see that as foolishness and reject me, I should rejoice in my salvation and not worry. Just treat them with kindness, and move on!
:)
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