Journal

It has been made extremely clear that my gifts and talents need to be channeled into nothing but God's work. In 50 days today, it was discussing the difference between gifts and talents. I am very familiar with the concept of taking my gifts and giving them directly to God. He knows that I need to be told something a few times for confirmation, I am just that kind of person the reasons why are not appropriate for this particular post. Anyways, to be more specific about His redundancy I happened to turn to the wrong date today in my devotions book, it was really weird, I wasn't suppose to read it but the verse I got out of it was totally applicable:

Therefore you do not lack any spiritual gift as you eagerly wait for our Lord Jesus Christ to be revealed. He will keep you strong in the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.

1 Corinthians 1:7-9

The amount of verses I have read about the Lord making me strong, blessed is he who trusts in the Lord, and putting our faith in Christ alone just is God's way of showing me that even though I kept messing up over and over, that He still loves me. I am hoping that even though I have been screwing up a lot, that my mistakes will glorify Him one day! I know He has called me into Youth Ministry. There isn't a single doubt in my heart or mind. I believe that what I have been through will be used to help teenagers later on. He already revealed to me a positive side of my mistakes, and that is: Judgement. Because I have gone through all of this, and I didn't live a pure life for many years of my adolescence that it will help me not judge people. My testimony is much different than the pastors who lived an upright life from birth. 

"But blessed is the man who trusts in

the LORD, 

whose confidence is in him.

He will be like a tree planted by the

water

that sends out its roots by the

stream.

It does not fear when heat comes;

its leaves are always green.

It has no worries in the year of drought

and never fails to bear fruit."

Jeremiah 17:7-8

There is absolutely no reason why I shouldn't put my trust 100% in God. He has done nothing but be the ultimate Teacher, Counselor, Lover, Healer, Daddy, and Provider. He has never let me down, yet I have constantly been slapping Him in the face with my sin. 

He answered my prayers in His timing and I am so thankful for them! Even though I did a lot of things I shouldn't have, I believe He is going to mold me into His plan that I strayed away from. 

An excellent example and encouragement is the story of David. He started out as a shepherd, as he went on to live his life, God empowered him to defeat a 9 foot tall giant and he proceeded to be King. Was he perfect? No, he fell into sexual temptation, and even proceeded to commit murder to cover it up. Yet God still used him! I love the Word because it reminds me that each and every person that God used was the the farthest thing from perfect. The farthest! I am far from perfect; I have done things that I didn't even want to do that I look back on now and see the dirty slate I created for myself. How disgusting! And yet, God says He will clean it and give me a new one. 

I love the God I serve, and I cannot wait to fall madly and deeply back in Love with Him because I know how faithful He is and how even when I was breaking His heart, He didn't give up on me.